There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
