and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
