We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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