the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
