We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
