if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
