U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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