it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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