How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
