I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
