he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
