the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
