new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
