I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
