we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
