About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
