oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
