do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
