I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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