I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize