Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
