I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
