I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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