I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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