Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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