Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
