I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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