Do you still have your period?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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