I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize
