The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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