I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize