There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
