He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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