So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
