i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
