i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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