Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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