bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
