I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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