Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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