i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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