I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
