and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
