Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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