it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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