dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
