She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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