ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
