there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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