look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
