Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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