Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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