Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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