i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
