Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
