ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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