Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
