I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
